Do you ever find that you ‘hold back’ when you are feeling uncomfortable or out of your depth? A way to protect yourself from failure? Or criticism?
Let’s unpack that a little bit….
You know when your mind is all over the place and it’s hard to concentrate? I am very good at this, I like to think up lots of different tasks that simply MUST be done, although in reflection many of these so called important tasks are really not that important at all (and my husband is extra good at pointing this out to my chagrin I might add!).
I have come to a conclusion that this distraction of other ‘tasks’ is simply distancing ourselves from the uncomfortable situation/process challenge that is really bothering us. So we hold back, save a little piece of ourselves in a bid to protect us from our perceived danger.
So what’s wrong with that? Well it’s not about being wrong, it’s about being aware. Many of us practice this distraction technique for a good part of our lives and never really delve into the deeper problem.
You can’t avoid things forever, it will come out eventually. But I reckon it’s better to be aware of what you are avoiding and understanding what you might be fearful of, so that you are better prepared and better placed to act in a way that best serves you.
I think we need to understand when we are more distracted than usual and unpack the why… this can be through sitting and breathing, contemplation, meditation. It can be through journaling or simply talking to a trusted friend.
And then when we understand what we are avoiding, it’s time to deal with the distractions….
I’d like to suggest a new approach… how about celebrating these distractions as warning bells for us, a positive energy that’s allowing us to build strength to deal with the deeper issue.
Imagine if you could box up all those distractions into an imaginary box and label it brave…brings a smile to your face hey?
I’m all about trying to be kinder to myself as I don’t reckon I’m very good at it. And I reckon if you can be kind in all directions and in as many situations as you can, then the outcome will always be better.
So, if you are holding back, saving a piece of yourself then that’s ok. Just know that all the distracting energy that is flying around is really brave energy that will help you sail through any problems.
Take care and be kind, Sarah ox